Pinch Hitter Jesus

This morning God has spoken to my heart that I all too often turn to God only after I have exhausted all of my earthly resources. Part of it is I was raised to be independent, not to have to rely on others to make my life worth living, but what does it say that I extend that same thought-pattern to God. Why do I try to do everything within my own power and then if that doesn't work out I go to the big guns. Scott always gives me a hard time that I will never admit when I have made a mistake, which I return with "I made the best decision I could have made at the time with the information that was available at the time, it's not my fault if I didn't have all the information!" Yeah, I know, it's that bad. But you know who does have all the information? You know who does have true 20/20 vision across all time past, present, and future? You know who does know what decisions will and will not work out? The Jesus I turn to in a pinch, that's who. But that same Jesus that I trust when things are bad should be the same Jesus that I turn to BEFORE things get bad. Our God was not just the God that rescued the Israelites from Egyptian slavery, but also the God that led and directed their path through the desert when they were free from immediate danger. Now I am starting to wonder if I have brought unnecessary drama to my life because God wanted so desperately to be a part of my thoughts that He had no other choice but to bring hard times since I was bound, bet, and determined to 'save Him the trouble' when I could 'handle' things without Him. What I wouldn't trade to have all of those moments back when I had an opportunity to walk through everyday life side-by-side with the Author of my faith, but I just missed it.

A long time ago, in my 9th grade Sunday School class, we always did prayer requests at the end of every class. One day, one of my classmates raised his hand and asked that we pray that God would provide him with a new toothbrush as his was getting old. Now this student was by no means poor, so I looked up, expecting to find a huge grin on his face, delighting in his apparent joke, but he was not joking. My amazing Sunday School teachers jotted down his request and when the time came delivered a heart-felt plea for the boy's provision. I remember being dumbfounded. I remember thinking, just tell your mom to put it on the grocery list, what does God have to do with that? Oh if only I had the faith of this boy. I have no doubt that God will provide for me when my back is against a wall, or that he will be my rock in times of pain, but how much more faith does it take to know that God cares enough to be there when His presence is not 'required'? How hard is it to believe that my life is worth his glance when my only need is a simple toothbrush, when there are so many other hurting people in this world?

Beloved, our God is bigger than we give him credit for! His love is more pervasive than we could ever imagine! Our God is not a Pinch Hitter God! He wants to be involved in even the most simple of requests. He truly does love us, with a more perfect love than we will ever be able to understand. God just when I think I have faith, I realize it is time to cry out to you again, "Lord, increase my faith!"

Lord, every inch I grow closer to you I gain perspective on the miles of your love that I have yet to know. Help me to begin to understand the love and wisdom you desire to pour out on my often closed heart. Lord pry the doors to my heart open! Knock the dead and hard areas of my heart off that you may grow them back with your overflowing life! Increase my faith in you to the point that I trust you in all times, the good and the bad! Teach my ear to be sensitive to your beautiful voice. I love you, and praise you for your ever-constant provision.

~Laura