All or Nothing, the life of a Christ Chaser!

I often feel apologetic about my all or nothing nature. I am aware that I almost always go overboard. I am aware that I can't help but over think every situation. I am also aware that my mindset in how I go about ministry with every fiber of my being, is often considered strange, and sometimes annoying. I've been really seeking God about how to minister for Him in the right way, and how to have a balanced perspective on life.
But what I went to God with as an insecurity, I have found through his eyes is what He intended for me. When I really look at who the Uncreated, All-powerful, All-knowing, God of this universe is, how can I go on with a balanced, socially acceptable, way of life. When I look at who Jesus is, what he did for me, the way he lived his whole life, from humble beginning, to a brutal and unjust end, I just don't have it in me to return that kind of whole-hearted sacrifice, with anything less.
So I am here to say that this is what I have been called to be. A whole-hearted, give-til-it-hurts, worship-til-there-aren't-any-words-left, socially-insane, chaser of Christ. I now know that the target is Christ, and his ways that aren't our ways. The target isn't being the coolest Christian in the room, or the Christian that looks like they have it all together. I need to stop judging myself against the other women in the room and judge myself against the words that God whispers to my heart in secret. Jesus gave it all, it's my job to take a shot at returning the favor.

Sweet Jesus, I'm tired of wrestling with who I want to be, and who I want others to see me as. Turn my heart towards becoming who you desire me to be. Thank you for the continuous work you are doing in my life, I could never do enough to repay you for the favor you have given me, but I certainly want to try. You, and You alone, will have my ALL!

-Laura